I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I am spending my child support on dildos
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
