is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
