You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
