We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
