Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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