i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
