after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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