No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
