it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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