Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
