he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize