My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
