it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
