You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You can't just leave with hair like that
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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