then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
