Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
