Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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