Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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