Pappa wants mamma naked
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
