Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
