I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
