"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize