I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
foreskin is a definite game changer
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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