the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
