When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
