i can't believe i had my finger in that
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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