playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
