I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
