Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
