Where is the hickey?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
