he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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