Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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