I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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