if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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