i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize