I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
