if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just want nice things and good sex
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
