i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize