You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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