I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
