Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Dick very happy bro
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
