Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
