we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
