I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Drunk is a universal language darling
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
