yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
