guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
