just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
