You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
