what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
