If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
