Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Dick very happy bro
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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