my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
