windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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