So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
COCAINE IS GR8
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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