i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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