Screwed.edu
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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