hotel room ftw
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
