im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
