Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
