The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I can't turn off my feet"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
