I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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