Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
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