I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
