I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
