Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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