We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
